One Spot - A Parody of Blank Space by Taylor Swift

Just a rough idea for a funny League of Legends style parody of Blank Space by Taylor Swift.  If anyone wants to take these lyrics and make an actual song, feel free.  Just make sure to give credit!

[Verse 1]
Dude we need you, come play please?
Normals have some terrifying things.
Feeders, ragers, tryhards, cheese.
When you logged on I sent
Your invite, we need our friends
You look like our salvation.
League's a game, want to play?
New champ, Jungle top,
You can play her wherever you like.
People say she, just can't stop,
And I know you read about her.
So hey, come on man,
We don't even have to deal with bans.
Take the invite quick my friend,
We can make the normals good for a small span.

[Chorus]
So it's gonna be a pre-5
Or it's gonna be filled with flame.
We can tell you when the queue pops
Don't bail, that'd be a shame
My ignore list is getting long
Way too much rage and blame
Cause you know we hate the players
But we love the game!
We're hyphy and we're reckless.
We'll dive in way too far.
It'll leave us healthless.
Or make us into stars
My ignore list is getting long
Way too much rage and blame
But I've got just one spot, brother,
And it's got your name.

[Verse 2]
Lack of hope, tensions high.
Randoms do some terrifying things.
Stolen dragons, screaming WHY
You're like Faker man, such a god
Come play what you want,
Carry a single game,
Don't make us go without you, please no
Screaming, blaming, AFKs
You could make all the difference
Stop the one random play
That makes us all think aloud
"What the hell?  Who is this?"
He's so high, so remiss
So please head the call when we beg
Cause dude we're your friends and we're totally in need.

[Chorus]

[Bridge] x2
We beg because normals are torture.
Don't say we didn't, say we didn't call ya

[Chorus]]

PSA - Skill Requirements

So there's been a ton of arguments over jungle timers lately.  And one of the major arguments that seems to come up is the idea that because it takes skill to remember to time jungle camps, objectives, etc that they shouldn't be given to people.
And while I agree that it does take skill to do these things, I think the argument is completely foolish.  Just because something takes skill doesn't mean that it should automatically stay in the game.  Jungle camp icons automatically show up if cleared for instance, keeping track of them with no help whatsoever would take skill, but nobody is arguing that they should be changed.
Auto attacking takes less skill than telling your champion to use every single attack.  Heck, why not make autos skill shots?  These would add more skill to the game.  But we don't suggest them.

Making something harder does not make it better.  People talk about DOTA 2 for instance and the skill that it takes compared to LoL with mechanics like denial.  But the thing is, I don't want League to be that complicated.  I don't think I would enjoy it as much if it was.

So make arguments for objectives and camps having no timers, but don't simply say they shouldn't exist because it takes skill.  Remember there are a ton of things not in League that take skill, and they don't exist because adding them would make the game worse.

Nautilus - W Changes

As of now Nautilus's W reads like this on the LoL Wiki:

ACTIVE: Nautilus gains a shield that absorbs a certain amount of damage. The shield dissipates after 10 seconds if not already destroyed. While the shield persists, Nautilus's basic attacks are enhanced to debuff all enemies within 175 range of his target, dealing bonus magic damage over 2 seconds. Titan's Wrath also resets Nautilus' basic attack timer when first used.

It scales like this:

SHIELD STRENGTH: 100 / 150 / 200 / 250 / 300 (+ 10% bonus health)
MAGIC DAMAGE: 40 / 55 / 70 / 85 / 100 (+ 40% AP)

Basically, Nautilus get's a shield which scales with max health.  Then, while it's up, his auto attacks to apply a DoT.  

The problem with this mechanic is that as a tank, Nautilus soaks damage.  But a grand majority of the damage he can put out is through his W.  Meaning that in order to do his job as a tank, he fails in his job to do any kind of damage (which most tanks need to do at least SOME of).

So, I propose a change to W.  Make it last only 5-7 seconds, but keep the damage during the entire baseline duration.
In other words, make it more like Lulu's Help, Pix!, where Pix still does damage on AAs even if the shield is broken.  It should read something like this:

ACTIVE: Nautilus gains a shield that absorbs a certain amount of damage. The shield dissipates after 5 seconds if not already destroyed. For five seconds, Nautilus's basic attacks are enhanced to debuff all enemies within 175 range of his target, dealing bonus magic damage over 2 seconds. Titan's Wrath also resets Nautilus' basic attack timer when first used.

This change will make it so that Nautilus does not have insane uptime on his W damage in fights, but he also won't have insanely low uptime on it either.  

Better Smurfing - Making Low Level Games Better

One of the things that I've noticed as I've leveled my smurf is that lowbie games are filled to the brim with players who are obviously not playing LoL for the first time.  In other words, the games are filled with smurfs like myself.  And while this isn't a problem for ME, I believe that it's kind of a big problem for people who are new to the game.  They shouldn't have to play with players who can have thousands of wins under their belts when they've maybe played a hundred themselves.  At the same time, plenty of people who are smurfing aren't looking to crush new players (Or at least many of us aren't :|), they're looking to get another account to level 30.

So, why not kill two birds with one stone?  Let's make the smurfs less of a problem for new players while making new levels 30s less of a complete pain in the ass.

Suggestion:  Allow people to attach smurfs to their main accounts giving increased EXP but placing them into a seperate MMR pool for smurfs (Or just give them a higher MMR in general based on their main account's normal MMR).

I think this would be a wonderful tradeoff that would be a net win for everyone.  Smurfs level faster.  New players don't get stomped by smurfs.

What it Feels Like For a Bronze (What it Feels Like For a Girl - Parody)

Madonna Version - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYwgG2oyUbA&feature=kp
Glee Version - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGZRRJN_JXM

Bronze can ward up
And land their skillshots
Smite drag and nash
'Cause it's OK to be a pro
But for a pro to look like a Bronze is degrading
'Cause you think that being a Bronze is degrading
But secretly you'd love to know what it's like
Wouldn't you
What it feels like for a Bronze

Easy bans
Amu, Malphite, Blitzcrank,
Junglers, do not gank
So never purchase wards

Gold inside but you don't see it
Every Bronze they always say it
When you're typing to your team in chat
Could you not be such a prat

Do you know what it feels like for a Bronze
Do you know what it feels like in this League
For a Bronze

Toxic words that rest on fingers ready, Bronzie
Hands that rest on keyboard keys repenting

Hurt that's not supposed to show
And anger everyone will know
When you're trying hard to be your best
Could you feed a little less

Do you know what it feels like for a Bronze
Do you know what it feels like in this League
What it feels like for a Bronze

Gold inside but you don't see it
Every Bronze they always say it
When you're typing to your team in chat
Could you not be such a prat

Do you know what it feels like for a Bronze
Do you know what it feels like in this League
For a Bronze


Do you know what it feels like for a Bronze
Do you know what it feels like for a Bronze
What it feels like in this League 

Gold inside but you don't see it
Every Bronze they always say it
When you're typing to your team in chat
Could you not be such a prat

Do you know what it feels like for a Bronze
Do you know what if feels like in this League
For a Bronze
Do you know what it feels like for a Bronze
Do you know what it feels like in this League
For a Bronze

In this League
Do you know?
Do you know?
Do you know what it feels like for a Bronze
What it feels like in this League.

Kha'Zix - Better Nerfs

While nerfing Kha'Zix's damage is certainly one way to reduce his power, in my opinion the better way to curb his power is to touch on the range of his E.
Right now the baseline range of his hop is 600.  It's about middle of the pack in terms of mobility spells overall and on the short side in terms of actual gap closers.
When evolved, Kha'Zix's E increases 300 range going up to 900, straight to the very top in terms of range on gap closers.  Not only this, but kills and assists refresh the ability.

Important Side Note:
One of the things Riot wanted to do in changing his W was to make it more of an option than a requirement.  But right now, evolving E is a requirement on Kha because it gives him So much more mobility between the reset and the increased range.

So:
Let's make Kha's E evolution give less range, around 200 or maybe even just 150.  This keeps his E evolution very strong by giving it resets and tons of mobility in teamfights but it stops him from hopping the majority of an entire screen onto squishies, deleting them and hopping another almost entire screen away with relative lack of counterplay.

Essentially, this change would make it both harer to get onto his target and harder to escape once that target is dead.  A Kha'Zix will have to play smarter in order to be as effective as they are now instead of simply needing to be more fed.

Boots of Mobility - Change the Passive

As of right now, Mobility Boots are very weak because of the change that happened with 4.3  They have the same MS of Boots of Speed when in combat, lower than any other tier 2 boots in the game.  The trade-off being that when out of combat you have more MS than any other boots.

Because of how harsh the MS drop is between in combat and out of combat, I think that a better factor for determining whether you get the speed should be the last time you took damage.  Essentially, make Boots of Mobility work like Miss Fortune's passive, Strut.

This would mean that as long as you yourself don't take damage, you're still moving quickly.  It would reward players that avoid being hit while fighting and would change nothing for champions that are taking damage before they deal it.  It would also put a larger emphasis on kitting Mobility Boots instead of just running from people with them.

Alternatively or Additively:

Since moving between camps is one of the problems for junglers, make it so that the boots don't go down to 25 MS when hit by neutral monsters.